So Close!

Alright, the updates begin! We are two weeks out and the excitement is building!
I am off the ground starting May 19th.
The journey up until this point has been a little rough, I will admit, but that doesn't mean it hasn't been good. For awhile it felt pretty quiet... very little progress on my support raising, and it didn't even feel like this trip was a reality. The quiet spread to my heart and mind where I just kicked back for awhile, not really listening to what God was speaking in my ear, and not really caring to be honest. God, in his perfect wisdom, decided that it was time to wreck me. He changed some really huge things in my life, leaving me with only Him, all the time. This was right were I needed to be all along, desperate, lonely, and in the presence of perfect love. God gave me what only He could at that point, love and character that was NOT HUMAN. Not broken, not selfish. Oh my goodness am I thankful that He is not flawed in the way he leads us. Once He got my attention, things went from quiet to very, very loud. I felt a little like I was walking out of a thick fog, and now that I stand in the clearing, I realize the brilliance of what God has for me, and who I am made to be. I also realized that I had a missions trip to pack for!

I dove into support raising with a yard sale a few weeks ago. Lots of gathering and foraging, as well as donations from friends led to a garage full of wonderful "junk." I also painted this huge banner (and part of myself) to hang on the front of the house. I woke up the morning of to rain and cold. Actually, it wasn't really rain... it was mist from the deep, and it hung everywhere as if to say... "what yard sale?" I pulled up my bootstraps, made coffee, and began to pray over every dish I set out. With the help of my family (what are sibling's little hands for if not to be put to work?) and dear friends, everything was set up in the garage, music on and lamps set about to make you feel like the day wasn't as bad as you thought it was. I prayed about it and decided to do everything as donation only... for me, putting a price tag on something was trying to control the outcome.
I'm so glad I did it that way too, cause guess what happened? God showed up.
I made $1000 just from that yard sale! Amazing.
Since then I have prayed a blessing over every morning, and the support has dropped into my lap in unexpected moments that never cease to make me squeal with excitement... which now that I think about it, isn't much of a feat. :) I have another fundraiser this weekend, as well as saving some most of my own money.... we are so close! As in.... $600 close!
Thank you to everyone who has prayed for me and over me. God moves at the sound of our voices.

Today I went and bought a few things I needed for my trip... like toothpaste and Advil... nothing big, but I may or may not have been skipping around the store in excitement.... it made everything feel so close! At the risk of sounding like a downer, I will say that the past couple of months have not been all skipping around the store kind of months. God is still calling me to let go, and give over. The process has been so painful, but not without hope. There is a song that I have been listening to recently that says "Come as close as you want, consume this heart that longs to burn, I know your fire can hurt, but I would be worse here without you. For I was made to dwell with You, and how I ache until I do." Those words pretty much sum it up, the pain is there... I'm not really being asked to pretend like I'm fine, rather, the pain is a reminder that I will never be fully satisfied until I am with my Lord, living in that place of sacrifice where I belong. If you would pray with me, that my heart would be continually turned towards Him, that would be such a blessing. Thank you.

These posts will come more often as the action unfolds, so be on the lookout. I'm also bringing my camera... and you know what that means. yes. copious amounts of pictures. be prepared.

So excited to share this journey with you all! Thank you again for your support, it is much needed!