Season Of Lasts

I am in it. The season of lasts. You know when you are getting ready to embark upon something you have waited a really long time for, something much anticipated, something that will change everything, and you enter that period of time where you start to realize... "this is the last time I will ever do this, THIS way."? The last time you will fill up the tank of your junky car with gas, the last time you will hug a particular person, the last time you will walk into a room and recall the history of that place... the voices and moments it holds, the last time you will sit on this couch and write a blog post about what is to come.
What IS to come?
All of these "lasts" leading up to the unknown is somewhat ironic... seems almost foolish, but I love that. If I knew what God has in store for me in this season of my life then all of the "lasts" would not be quite as mysterious...baited with promise, and hope.
Some of the 'lasts" are harder than others. Mostly just the ones involving people. I know that when I come home, everything will be different. I'm ok with that, more than ok! But that fact is there nevertheless. Life will not stop just because I'm not here. Others will have their own summers of epic proportions, or new relationships will be formed. They will laugh, and cry, and overcome without me. Some relationships I will not return to at all, or at least not in the same way it has been. I will change, and come home to a world of change in turn. At first this strikes a pang of fear in my heart... what if it's not the good kind of change? What if people don't like who I have become, or what if I don't fit here anymore when I return?
Those questions are totally NOT mine to ask. A wise friend said this to me yesterday... "don't let Satan fix your eyes fearfully on the future when God has so much he's doing right now that he wants you to pay attention to!" God has not given me a spirit of fear, He knows how I will change... and OF COURSE it will be good! It's change that is anointed by His hand! I have no reason to ask why or if... God fully capable. All I have to do if walk joyfully and expectantly into the waiting change. It will be good. I NEED change. I ASKED for change.
God has been telling me over and over recently that the place He is taking me is one of joy. He is finished with the season of mourning, and pain in my life. He is bringing restoration, and this is the time when He will rebuild what He has torn down. He is putting a new song in my mouth, and a new dance for my feet. "Follow the river out of the desert," He says. And I will. I'm laying down all of this for a new self. I'm leaving my baggage and bondage in the dust to discover the love of God like I never have before. The joy of the Lord will be my strength.
" You, who have shown me great and severe troubles, will revive me again, and bring me up from the depths of the earth. You shall increase my greatness and comfort me on every side." (Psa 71:20)
"Behold, I will extend peace to her like a river..." (Isaiah 66:12)
" I will go in the strength of the Lord God, I will make mention of Your righteousness, of Yours only." (Psa 71:16)

So here we go... I leave in the wee hours of the morning on Saturday the 19th. Please pray for safe travels, but most of all, pray for my swimming mind and emotions, that God would set my feet on solid, hopeful ground.
So the last thing I will say in this season of lasts is this....
"Here is comes.... The Beautiful Collision.... it's happening now."